the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
