let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
