Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
