You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
