Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is wine microwaveable?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
