Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
