I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My dick has a subreddit
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
