dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
