he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
