I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
