Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im at strip club and am horny
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
