I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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