I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize