2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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