I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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