oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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