The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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