Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
