conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
