I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
