woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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