Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
