proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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