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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  so yall hooked up?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  how do you feel about lunch break shots ?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that

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• (760): View more from California

  As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.

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• (562): View more from California

  Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.

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