ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
