i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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