I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
