I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
