Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
