I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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