i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
