Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
