You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize