remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
