elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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