Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
