I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Every concussion has its silver lining
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
