Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
