Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
