I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
