She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
