there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize