I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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