I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
