She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
