Ambien. No doubt about it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
