Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
