Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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