its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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