So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
BRING THE BAGELS
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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