He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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