Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
