Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
