All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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