Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
