I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
