Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
