At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think my fart just growled at me.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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