What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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