I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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