drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
