I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Plan B is the new Plan A
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
